Okay, Logan, don’t freak out. There’s a logical reason for this, Logan told himself as he paced in front of his bed. He racked his mind for any logical reason he could think of, but he drew a blank.
His thought process, or lack thereof, was interrupted when he heard a loud thud coming from the living room. The sound was followed by more thumps and muffled arguing. He sighed and exited his room to find James and Carlos wrestling on the floor.
“What are you guys doing?” he asked, folding his arms as he watched Carlos put James in a headlock.
“Watch the hair! Watch the hair!” James exclaimed, waving his arms around before pushing against the arm his head was trapped in. Carlos raised his other arm and roughly gave James a noogie, promptly messing up his hair.
James let out a shrill cry, using his legs and tossing himself and Carlos across the floor, pinning him down. “Oh, so you wanna play dirty, do you?” James growled at Carlos.
Carlos lifted his shoulders slightly, being trapped under James weight saying, “Bring it!”
“Guys!” Logan yelled, trying to get their attention. When both boys looked to him, he asked again, “What are you doing?”
James glared at Carlos. “He used the last of my cologne!”
“You said I could!” Carlos retorted.
“I said use the non-expensive one!” James snapped.
“Since when do you have non-expensive things?!” Carlos asked. James went still for a moment, before nodding in agreement.
“But did you have to use the one that was almost empty? I was saving it for my date tonight!” James shouted.
“Well maybe next time you should be more specific!” Carlos stated, pushing James off him when he felt his grip on him loosening.
Logan rolled his eyes as the two continued to argue. He went over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He didn’t bother with breaking them up since it was now only a verbal argument, and honestly he could use the distraction. He placed his forearms on the counter, opening the bottle and watching his friends argue over the cologne issue.
The volume of their words rose and he missed the sound of the front door opening. “What’s going on?” Kendall’s voice cut through their yells and made all of their heads turn towards him. “What are you two arguing about this time?”
Kendall rolled his eyes when his answer came in them shouting and pointing at each other. They were right back to their argument. He walked over to Logan and stood beside him.
“I’m assuming it’s not a big deal?” he asked the genius of the group. Logan swallowed inaudibly and scooted away from the blond.
“Carlos used the last of James’ cologne. The cologne he was saving for his date tonight.” Kendall nodded in understanding. “Well, I’m gonna go meet Camille.” Logan made quick haste to the door and left, going to the elevator.
“Logan!” Camille said with a smile when she opened her door and saw him there. “Hey, what’s up?”
Logan jammed his hands into his jean pockets and shrugged. “I was just wondering…” Camille smiled up at him, her eyes bright. “…If you wanted to…you know…hang out?”
Before he knew what was happening, his cheek was suddenly stinging. It took him a few seconds to grasp the fact that she had just slapped him.
“Ow…” he mumbled, putting his hand on his abused cheek.
“I’d love to,” she answered, grabbing his hand and stepping out into the hall. She pulled her door closed with her other hand and led him down the hall to the elevator.
Logan allowed Camille to convince him to go to the mall. He also allowed her to convince him into taking photos in one of the photo booths. They made silly faces in one, stuck their tongues out at one another, gave each other bunny ears in the next one; he kissed her cheek in the second to last one, and she kissed his lips in the last one.
He looked them over with her, his smile falling as he looked at the last one. It may seem like they were happy in love, but every time they kissed, he felt no spark. He felt her hand slip into his and she led him further into the mall.
After spending all day with Camille, Logan finally found himself in his and Kendall’s room. Logan sat on his bed keeping himself deeply engulfed in the book he was reading, allowing the contents of each page to fill his mind.
He was determined to rid his mind of the thoughts that had been plaguing him for the past few weeks now. Now that his main distraction was back in her room after hours at the mall, he had to resort to his original distraction. This was a method he used when he literally couldn’t think of anything but the unwelcome thoughts. Reading used to be mainly about wanting to learn or refresh his memory on things he has learned. But now it was his way of distracting himself.
Sadly, this only worked when his reason for these thoughts was out of the room. When he heard the front door open and the sound of Mama Knight and Kendall’s voices, he knew he would have to come up with more effective ways of clearing his head.
He closed his book with a sigh and leaned against his pillow more firmly. A few weeks ago he had what would be seen by most people as a common, innocent interaction with Kendall. The one thing they did a lot was wrap their arms around one another’s shoulders in a brief one-armed hug. Except this time, he felt…something from the contact. Instead of it just being a simple casual hug, he actually felt something he used to feel when he hugged Camille—albeit more intimately—but still. His heart had practically jumped out of his ribcage the moment he felt Kendall put his arm around him. And he blushed…majorly. He had to claim it was sunburn when James asked him why he was so red. After that statement, he took off, claiming he was going to put some more sunscreen on.
Since then he had been so confused on what the change was and where it was coming from. Mainly, he was trying to figure out a way to remedy it before it got out of hand. He tried spending more time with Camille and that only succeeded in him noticing a lack of that something special he once had with her. Now all he felt was guilt for leading her on, but he needed her. She was a great distraction…and a cover up.
He also tried spending less time around Kendall. But being roommates, he could only avoid him for so long. In fact, he noticed that the less time he spent around the blond, the stronger his heart pounded when he finally did see him again.
He had gone so far as to avoid sitting next to him during meals, when they watched movies, and when they were rehearsing a song and a dance. Some of these things he changed really threw the group as a whole off, so he eventually gave in and went back to the way things were, for the rehearsals at least.
All in all, he did not like this change one bit. He was glad that no one seemed to notice anything was off about him or between him and Kendall. Not even Katie was looking at him like she knew something was up. He sometimes wondered if Kendall could sense a change.
Probably too caught up in Jo, Logan thought with some malice in his mind. He felt his stomach drop at the obvious jealousy he was feeling. Oh, God, this isn’t good… He jumped out of his bed, book forgotten and bolted to the door, yanking it open and running right into a hard wall. He staggered back, shaking his head.
“Ow, geez, Logan, what’s the rush?” Kendall asked, rubbing his chest from where Logan had collided into him.
“I-I I just…” Logan stumbled over his words, this being his first time today looking directly at Kendall. His heart was racing as he looked into his green eyes. He shook his head once more to clear his mind. “I think I left something at Camille’s.”
Kendall nodded, walking into the room. Logan walked past him to leave, but Kendall calling his name stopped him. “Actually, could I talk to you about something?” Logan turned, seeing Kendall sitting on the edge of his bed.
“Uh…sure, of course,” Logan said with a nod, shutting the door and sitting beside his best friend, but not too close. “What’s up?”
Kendall remained silent for a moment, staring straight ahead in thought. Logan shifted slightly beside him, conflicted between wanting to be around Kendall and feeling the need to flee at the same time. “Jo and I have been having issues for a while now,” Kendall finally said. Logan looked at him, seeing the distress and pain in his expression. “No matter what we do, we always end up arguing over something.”
Logan remained silent, not sure if there was more Kendall wanted to say. He cursed himself mentally at feeling some sort of happiness over their dilemma. He really needed to get out of there.
“What should we do, Logan?” Kendall asked, looking over at the brunet. Logan bit his lip, averting his gaze away from Kendall.
“Um, well…have you guys been spending all of your time together?” he asked. Kendall nodded. “Maybe you guys should take a break. Take some time for yourselves?” he offered uncertainly, not sure if the blond would like the idea.
Kendall thought about it and a huge grin spread across his face. “I didn’t even think of that! Logie, you are such a genius!” He pulled Logan into a tight hug, capping the affectionate gesture off with a kiss to his cheek. “I’m gonna go talk to Jo now. Thanks, Logie!” he exclaimed, and was up and out of the room in seconds.
Logan sat stock still where Kendall had left him. His body felt numb from the hug and his cheek was literally tingling from the kiss. His heart was racing faster than it ever had before and he could hear it pounding in his ears. “Oh, God,” Logan mumbled to himself. This was bad, very, very bad.
He stood from the bed and left the room, making his way slowly out of the apartment. He needed to think.
Kendall found Jo out by the pool going over lines with Camille. He smiled as he approached them. “Jo?”
She looked up and smiled at Kendall. Camille went to get a drink, giving them some time alone. “Hey, Kendall,” she replied.
“I thought about how we’ve been doing nothing but fight, and I got some advice,” he began, looking at her to make sure this subject wouldn’t spark another argument. She nodded, waiting for him to continue. “Maybe we’re spending too much time together,” he said. Jo’s smile fell.
“Are you breaking up with me?” she asked, sitting up straighter.
“No, no, no!” Kendall said, shaking his head urgently. Jo relaxed. “Not really, at least. Maybe we should, you know, take a break?”
Jo glanced at her script for a moment before looking at Kendall. “A break? Like, take time for ourselves?”
“Yeah, some time apart. It’ll help with our constant arguing,” he said. Jo smiled.
“Sounds fine to me. So, what are the do’s and don’ts?” Kendall smiled. Logan was an absolute genius.
After discussing the terms of their break, Kendall left Jo to finish studying her lines and made his way back to 2J.
Exiting the elevator on their floor, Kendall stepped out and spotted Logan pacing outside their door. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to the shorter boy. “Hey, Logie, what are you doing?”
Logan jumped at Kendall’s sudden appearance and turned to face him. “U-um…” He couldn’t think at all when he was looking at or talking to Kendall. His mind just went fuzzy and all he could think about was Kendall. How beautiful his eyes were, his sweet voice, and those thick but adorable eyebrows of his that make no sense compared to his blond hair. And those lips…those sinfully soft, full lips that leave a lingering tingling aftermath on anything they touch. Logan had to fight the urge to touch his cheek, where the tingling sensation still resided.
Kendall watched Logan in confusion and concern. It wasn’t often Logan was at a loss for words, and this normally occurred when he was in trouble or extremely nervous. Now that he thought about it, Logan has been acting off for a while now. “Is someone bothering you?” Kendall asked, his tone taking on annoyance at the idea and a protective tone Logan recognized immediately.
Logan smiled slightly at the tone and shook his head. “No…I-I’m just trying to decide if I wanna…take the stairs or the elevator.”
Kendall’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t know what shocked him more-what Logan said, or the obvious sign that he was lying to him. Logan never lied to him. It was almost physically impossible for Logan to lie in general. But to him? Logan’s never tried, not once. But here he was, doing so, and poorly at that.
“Did you and Jo talk?” Logan interrupted. Kendall sighed and nodded. “Great! Well, I gotta go!” He took off before Kendall could stop him. Kendall shook his head in confusion before turning to call back to Logan,
“Camille’s out by the pool!” Logan waved at him before getting into the elevator. Kendall furrowed his eyebrows before going inside the apartment. He sighed heavily when he found James and Carlos fighting about something else. “What now?” So much for thinking over Logan’s weird behavior.
Logan was two paces short of running out to the pool. Camille looked up when he came out and barely said his name before she was pulled from her seat beside Jo and into a fierce kiss.
Logan was searching desperately for that old spark he once felt with Camille, but there was nothing. He refused to relinquish his hold on her until he felt it. After a few more seconds, she pushed him back to breathe. “Logan?” she gasped, breathless from his kiss. He searched her eyes, seeing confusion and some hints of lust. “What’s going on?”
“Well,” Jo said with laughter in her tone. Both brunets looked over at her. “He was perfectly in character.” She pointed to the script. “‘Ethan rushes to Kristen’s side and pulls her into a desperate, passion-filled kiss’. Great timing Logan!”
Camille looked back at him. “Logan?” She searched his eyes for any ideas as to what was going on. He sighed, loosening his grip on her, but not letting go.
“I-I have to talk to you…”
Kendall sat on the couch, cheek resting in his palm. He was dimly aware of Carlos and James arguing over their game, but was too thoughtful to shut them up.
Finally, he had to voice his thoughts, “Have you guys noticed anything off about Logan?” They looked at him briefly before going back to their game.
“Dude, where have you been?” James asked. “Logan has been weird all month.” Kendall threw his arms out.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me this?” Kendall asked.
“You’ve been busy with Jo,” Carlos said with a shrug. Kendall rolled his eyes.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know when something’s wrong with one of my friends!” he exclaimed. “Do you think it’s about him and Camille?”
“Beats me. He hasn’t complained about her, and you know he would if it was about her,” James said.
“So he hasn’t told you guys anything?” he asked. They shook their heads. Kendall sighed once more. He didn’t like this.
“Logan, what is it?” Camille asked after they walked to the park. She grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together, leading him to a tree where they each took a seat.
Logan stared at their intertwined hands for a few seconds before looking away with a breath. He didn’t know how he was going to tell her everything. He knew he couldn’t keep using her. Maybe once he got this out of the way, he could focus on dealing with everything else. That’s if Camille took it well, which he doubted.
First thing he did was pull his hand gently out of Camille’s. He could feel her eyes on him. “Camille…”
“Logan, talk to me,” she said, turning his face towards her so their eyes could meet.
Logan searched her eyes briefly before going into his explanation. “I-I’ve been…using you as a distraction for the last month. I haven’t felt any attraction for you since…”
Camille looked hurt and confused. “Logan, what are you talking about?” He sighed heavily.
“Camille, I do like you. It’s just…”
“Someone else?” she asked softly. Logan took her hand and held it, squeezing it softly.
“It’s complicated,” he said, keeping eye contact this time. She looked heartbroken, but nodded slowly. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, squeezing her hand again. “It’s just…I wanted to make this work. I was hoping that spark would come back, but…”
“Tell me about the situation?” she asked. Logan looked away immediately.
“I don’t think I can…”
James and Carlos watched Kendall pace in front of them. They had to pause their game when Kendall’s pacing started and blocked the TV. “Kendall, why are you freaking out?” James asked.
“Yeah, it’s not like we all haven’t had problems before,” Carlos added.
“I know! But Logan normally says something!” Kendall said. He looked at them, but was met with blank faces. “Guys, Logan normally says something!” he repeated, as though saying it another time would make them see this as the huge issue he saw it as.
“Maybe Logan wants to solve this issue himself,” Carlos suggested.
“Yeah, you can’t expect him to run to us over every little thing, can you?” James asked. Kendall sighed and sat down beside them with a huff.
“I guess not. But I’m gonna talk to him later,” he said. The two nodded and resumed their game.
“Logan, you can talk to me. I’m not upset about you liking someone else. If you can forgive me for kissing James, then I think it’s fair to hear you out about what’s going on,” Camille said gently, rubbing his back.
“The problem is I still have a lot to think about,” he told her. “And I would rather not think about it.” She nodded in understanding. He looked at her. “Thanks for not hating me,” he laughed lightly. “And I really am sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, Logan,” she said, hugging him. “We’re still friends.”
Kendall looked up from watching his friends play their game when he heard the door open. He fought the urge to jump up when he saw it was Logan coming in. He really wanted to question him, but he could tell by looking at him that now wasn’t the best time to do so.
Logan stopped and looked at the TV, contemplating if he wanted to sit and join his friends. He looked at Kendall and decided to go into his room instead. So he turned and made way for his room, shutting the door behind him.
Kendall frowned and looked back at the game. Maybe he would talk to him sooner than he thought.
Logan kicked his shoes off and lay on his bed. All he accomplished was breaking up with Camille. So now he had a half guilt-free mind of falling for Kendall. But there was still Jo, and the fact that Kendall was straight. But at least on his end no one could get hurt. Except himself.
He sighed and grabbed his book from the foot of his bed and sat up, resting against his pillow and opened it and began to read.
He read for about an hour, getting engrossed in the plot of the story. He didn’t acknowledge the door opening and closing and Kendall sitting on his bed across from him. “Logan,” Kendall called softly.
Logan jumped and looked at Kendall in surprise, not knowing he had entered the room. “Hey Kendall,” he replied, going back to his book. Inwardly he was panicking.
“So, Loges, I was thinking, how about you and I hang out for a little while?” he suggested with a smile. Logan eyed Kendall uneasily.
“I have studying to do later,” he replied, looking back at the page he was reading. Normally he would have jumped at the chance to spend time with Kendall, but he was suspicious of the blond’s intentions.
Kendall’s expression dropped at the rejection and he nodded, seemingly in shock at the words that Logan said. Honestly, he could tell Logan was lying and it pained the blond to see it happening twice in two hours’ time. Since when did Logan feel the need to lie to him? Has Logan been lying to him this past month and he’s only just now noticing it? The idea sent a pang of hurt into his heart.
He watched the brunet reading his book intently. Kendall had the feeling that Logan was trying to avoid looking at or conversing with him. He stood from his bed and went over to Logan’s side, sitting down across from the shorter boy. Logan glanced at him before looking back at his book. Kendall watched him for a few seconds before covering the page Logan was reading with his hand. “Logan,” he said gently, making Logan look up to meet his eyes.
“Kendall,” Logan said, ready to stop whatever question he was going to ask.
“Don’t lie to me, Logan,” he said softly. Logan looked down. “What’s wrong?” Logan racked his brain for something to tell Kendall. Then he remembered Camille.
“Uh, well…Camille and I broke up today,” he said. Kendall looked surprised but he nodded slowly.
“I’m sorry, Logie,” he said, moving his hand from the book and rubbing his back affectionately. “I guess that makes us both single for a little while.” Logan nodded, not sure what to say.
The next day Kendall decided he would make Logan hang out with him. After their chat yesterday, Kendall realized how out of sync they were and he was determined to fix that. What better way to do so than by hanging out? He was looking forward to spending time with Logan again.
“Come on Logan, the pool awaits!” Kendall called from the living room.
Logan reluctantly left their shared room dressed in his swim trunks and a tank top, flip flops on his feet.
Kendall gave him an excited grin that made Logan blush slightly and smile in return. “Let’s go!” Kendall said, grabbing his wrist and dragging him from the apartment.
When they reached the elevator, Logan chuckled. “Kendall, it’s just the pool. It’s not going anywhere.”
“I know, Logie, but it’s the pool with you. When was the last time you and I hung out at the pool?” Or at all lately?
Logan looked down guiltily. He hadn’t realized how much Kendall missed him, or maybe he hadn’t wanted to think about it. He looked up when he felt an arm drape around his shoulders, smiling green eyes looking at him.
He smiled in return as the elevator dinged and opened. They stepped in, Logan very aware of the arm hugging him close.
Logan sat on one of the pool chairs while Kendall got a couple Smoothies for them. He missed hanging out with his best friend, but part of him was thinking of it as a date even though he knew it wasn’t.
He closed his eyes against the sun and listened to the sounds of talking and laughter, the occasional splash from the pool topping the joyous sounds off.
He heard the chair next to him make a squeak as Kendall returned. “Here you go, Logie.” Logan looked at him and smiled. “Strawberry mango.”
“Thanks,” he said, taking the drink and sipping it.
They drank their smoothies in silence and once they finished, the pool was empty, the occupants now sunbathing. Kendall grinned as he eyed his relaxing friend before standing silently. He tip-toed away from him quietly.
It didn’t take Logan long to sense Kendall’s missing presence. In fact, as soon as he left his side he felt it. He opened his eyes and looked around, sitting up slightly to get a better view behind himself. “Kendall?”
A sudden rush of wind and the blur of a person running past him made Logan blink as a familiar voice rang out, “Cannonball!” He watched Kendall submerge under the water and laughed lightly. He had definitely been spending too much time with Carlos.
Kendall surfaced, shaking his wet hair out of his face and swimming towards Logan. “Come on!”
Logan immediately shook his head no. Kendall pouted and Logan looked at his drink, stirring it despite the fact that it was empty.
“Logie… ” Kendall continued pouting at his best friend. Logan tried with all his might not to blush at the nickname, but he was pretty much putty in Kendall’s hands when he used it. And Kendall knows that. He doesn’t abuse it, so when he does use it he knows Logan will eventually cave. Luckily for Logan, Kendall uses the nickname more for affection than to get his way.
But not this time around.
“Come on, Logie, please?” Logan looked at Kendall, hearing the pout in his voice. He melted when he saw the infamous Knight puppy dog eyes trained on him.
Heaving out an overdramatized sigh, he set his plastic cup aside and removed his tank top, blushing once more even though he knew Kendall didn’t look at him like that. He set the shirt onto his chair after standing. He saw Kendall was waving at Jo and sighed.
He sat down by the edge of the pool beside Kendall and put his legs in the water.
Kendall examined his current position and smiled a smile that would have looked completely innocent to anyone else, but Logan knew Kendall. He saw the sudden twinkle in his eyes.
Of course, he saw it a second too late and he was soon pulled into the pool completely by his arm.
He gasped under the water and swam to the surface, coughing and sputtering as he tried to get the water from his system. Once he calmed he became aware of Kendall laughing. With a half-hearted glare he splashed him, effectively shutting him up.
Logan laughed, causing Kendall to smile as he recalled that it had been awhile since Logan laughed like that. It sent a warmth throughout his body at knowing he was able to bring that sound back.
He smiled wider when he saw Logan’s cheeks turn a pale pink under his gaze. Logan always blushed when he was being looked at longer than he was comfortable with. Being a celebrity obviously didn’t change that.
He splashed him back and soon a water war was unleashed.
When they had accidentally soaked the people surrounding the pool and Mr. Bitters came out yelling and threatening to ban them from the pool, they exited it and sat down in their pool chairs once more.
They were soaked from head to toe, but both were sporting huge grins that didn’t seem like they’d be fading anytime soon.
Kendall ignored Logan’s protesting as he dragged him along through the lobby. He didn’t tell his friend where they were going. Logan didn’t even know they were hanging out today. He had been intently reading one of his medical books when Kendall had snatched it and stated, “Let’s go.”
Now he was beginning to panic when Kendall led him to the Big Time Rush mobile. Wherever they were going, it must’ve been a ways away. “Kendall, it’s getting late. You know your mom will have an ulcer if she finds out we’re gone after dark.” He looked out the window, fidgeting with his hands nervously.
Kendall chuckled as he drove. “Remember when we were nine and camped out in my backyard?”
Logan blinked before smiling. “Yeah.”
“You wanted to roast marshmallows the real way, for s’mores. When my mom said no and made some with the oven, I could tell you were disappointed. I felt terrible that I couldn’t keep my promise.”
Logan blushed. He remembered that. He had been crushed. Kendall had promised they would make a campfire solely for the purpose of roasting marshmallows to make s’mores.
“Does that relate to where we’re going?” he asked, looking at Kendall. He examined his features as he awaited an answer. God, he was so beautiful… Logan’s eyes widened at the thought and he quickly averted his gaze back out the window.
Kendall smiled to himself. He had considered the fact that doing this was a little dramatic. The trouble they would be in was gonna be intense, but he found himself not caring. Sure they broke rules and got in trouble often enough, but this was another level. Staying out overnight without his mom’s permission was probably one of the craziest things he’d done…so far. But he was still determined to keep that promise to Logan. Even if it meant traveling a short-ish distance at night without permission to do so.
He glanced at Logan, noting the fidgety hands in his lap. He chuckled softly as he focused on the road.
Logan’s heart was racing as he watched them get further and further away from L.A. He could only imagine the trouble they would be in when they got home.
The sun had finally set. They were officially dead.
He jumped when he felt a hand cover his still fidgeting ones, stopping their movements. “Relax, Logie,” Kendall whispered. Logan’s cheeks heated up at the contact. He looked down at their hands and then at Kendall.
Kendall squeezed his hands reassuringly before pulling back to grip the steering wheel as he made a right turn.
Logan sighed softly, his hands tingling from the contact. He folded them in his lap and a few seconds later his knee started to bounce, replacing the fidgeting he had been doing minutes ago.
Kendall glanced at him once more and shook his head with a smile. Logan was adorable.
“Kendall… are you sure we should be doing this?”
“Logan, the worst punishment we may get is being grounded. Relax. We’re almost there now.”
It’d been a few weeks since they had started hanging out again and Kendall’s noticed a few things about himself and Logan that he was certain wasn’t there before.
Tonight he was gonna find out what that was.
Logan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion when Kendall parked alongside the woods on the outskirts of L.A.
“What’s going on Kendall?” he asked, looking to the blond for an answer. Kendall just grinned and exited the car, going to the trunk.
Despite his uneasiness, Logan got out of the car as well and went back to Kendall.
“Here,” Kendall said, draping a jacket over him. “It’s cold tonight.”
Logan smiled as he put his arms into the sleeves and zipped the jacket up. Kendall handed him some gloves and put a beanie on his head.
Once Logan was layered up, he did the same for himself.