What About Now Chapter 3

Kendall just sat in silence after Katie had left the room. Logan and his friends were talking around him, not really paying any attention to the blond. Kendall got the impression that Logan didn’t really want him there while his friends were over.

Not that Kendall could really blame him. He was just a worthless nobody and people didn’t really want to hang out with a nobody. His school life up until he had been adopted had been proof of that.

After people had found that Mr and Mrs Knight had been murdered and Katie had told them that it was all Kendall’s fault, people had just stopped talking to him. The few friends that he did have had left him, believing what Katie was saying about the murder.

Kendall sighed. He life had gone from good to bad in about three months. And he really wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. If what Kendall thought about Logan was really true (not that he would blame him) then he wasn’t sure that he would be around much longer.

He just… he really didn’t know what to think anymore.

He hadn’t told Kelly this because he didn’t want her to think that he was crazy and give her a reason to hate him to but ever since the first time that Katie had accused him of their parents’ death, Kendall had been hearing voices in his head telling him to go and kill himself. He never listened to the voices but now they were getting harder and harder to ignore.

With one last look at Logan and his friends, Kendall left the room. He didn’t really know his way around the Mitchell house, so Kendall just wandered around until he accidentally collided with someone.

“Ow!” The person screamed. Kendall looked up to see that he had bumped into Katie.

Oh no. He was so dead.

Katie looked down to see who had bumped into her and when she saw that it was her brother, she glared at him.

“Watch where you’re going, you little brat!” She screamed at Kendall. Kendall trembled from where he sat on the floor. “You could have seriously hurt me! Why do you have to be so clumsy and stupid all of the time!”

Tears filled Kendall’s light green eyes. Katie had never yelled at him like that before. Ever since this whole thing began she had just simply ignored him, she had never yelled at him before.

“That’s right, cry, you stupid little bitch,” Katie said glaring at Kendall. “No one even wants you here. Not Mr and Mrs Mitchell. Not Logan or his friends. And certainly not me,”

Katie walked away, leaving a sobbing Kendall in the hallway. He had no idea that she actually felt like that.

Kendall buried his head in his knees, sobbing quite loudly. She was right. He was just a clumsy, stupid, little brat. He couldn’t do anything right. Because of him, his parents were dead (or so he thought) and Katie now hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.

But what if she was also right about Logan and the Mitchells? What if they didn’t want him either? What if they were only letting him stay because they felt sorry for him that his parents were now dead? And surely if Logan didn’t want him then Logan’s friends wouldn’t want him around either.

Kendall sat there on the floor against the wall, sobbing, until he felt strong arms wrap around him and bring him against someone’s chest. He buried his tear stained face in that person’s shirt as he felt a hand rubbing soothing circles on his shaking back.

Five minutes later, Kendall looked up to see that he was in Logan’s arms with James and Carlos sitting around them. Kendall tried to get away from them but they were to strong and held him in place.

“What’s wrong, Kendall?” Logan asked in a worried voice. He, James and Carlos had wondered where Kendall had gone to and went to look for him when they noticed that the younger boy wasn’t in his and Logan’s bedroom anymore. They had found him sitting here by himself, crying into his knees, wondering what had gotten the boy so upset.

“K-Katie…” Was all that Kendall managed to get out before the tears started running down his face again.

“What happened, little buddy?” Carlos asked. When Logan had told them Kendall and Katie’s story, he had felt a need to protect the younger boy and not just because he was now his best friend’s little brother.

“S-She-” Kendall couldn’t finish what he was saying. He buried he face in Logan’s shirt again. Right now, it was just too painful to talk about. He felt so betrayed by Katie.

“Ssh, Kendall. It’s okay,” Logan said in soothing voice, shifting Kendall so that he was now cradling the blond in his lap and rocking him back and forth. “Tell us what happened. What did Katie do to make you so upset, buddy?”

“S-She said t-that I-I was a c-clumsy l-little b-brat and that n-nobody wanted m-me here,” Kendall sobbed.

How could Katie say something like that about a boy like that? And more importantly how could she say something like that about her own brother?

Logan, James and Carlos were all out raged when the words had left Kendall’s mouth. The three boys had never been so angry in their lives’.

“Kendall, you’re not a brat and you’re wrong, we do want you here. Every single once of us,” Logan said and James and Carlos nodded in agreement.

“Logan’s right, Kendall,” James said giving the little blond a reassuring smile. Kendall didn’t return the smile and didn’t say anything more. He just laid there in Logan’s arms until he had cried himself to sleep.

Logan shared a look with James and Carlos. Katie was going to get it later. But this was also a look that said that they needed to watch out for Kendall, protect him and make him feel loved.

They needed to convince him that this was he was his fault, they didn’t know how to do that though.

But they knew that they had to or risk losing Kendall to himself. Because when you wallow in your own hatred, you become your own worst enemy.


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